DOI: Breaking the rules

For those familiar with the world of ice dance only via Dancing On Ice it may come as something of a surprise to learn that much of that which makes the show so magical would not only be frowned on in competitive skating but incur major deductions. Indeed such are the often baffling rules enforced by the International Skating Union (ISU), Torvill and Dean’s iconic Bolero far from achieving a perfect score would breach so many laws as to risk compete disqualification today.

For the celebrity contestants, being allowed to attempt the ‘head banger’ is a milestone moment guaranteed to elicit a positive response from audience and judges alike, this classic of acrobatic skating falls foul of pairs skating instructions that skaters must only hold hands, arms, upper legs or body never foot, ankle or blade. The Detroiter also being dismissed on the grounds that legs must be held with two hands and heaven help you if you let go of your partner mid-lift, stand on their shoulders or sit on their head! All of which are deemed too dangerous for competitive skating (but seemingly not for soap stars and magicians).

Many a DOI routine, such as Lisa’s Bet Lynch inspired routine in week 5 has begun with the reveal of a previously hidden outfit or Dan Whiston and Cheryl Baker recreating Bucks Fizz’s skirt-ripping Eurovision highlight. Whilst at first sight the ISU rule against detachable costume parts lest you incur a one-point deduction, doesn’t seem that tricky to avoid, such is the exacting implementation of this rule, that should a stray sequin fall off your costume, or a whisper of your skirt caress the ice – bang goes that deduction! In addition, if a lady thinks they can avoid the issue altogether by popping on a pair of trousers or shortening their dress, forget it! Until 2003, women were permitted only to wear skirts (which mustn’t be overly revealing but fully cover their hips and posterior – The Katarina Witt rule).  You may pop on a bodysuit, but all costumes must be modest, dignified, and appropriate for athletic competition. In week five, the DOI costume and make-up department pulled out all the stops for fairy tale week, turning Peri into a gargoyle, Ben into the white rabbit. Yet whilst competitive skaters are permitted to reflect the nature of the music in their costumes, doing so risks judges accusing you of being too theatrical or garish. In addition, whilst many a DOI skater has donned a pair of daisy dukes, “There has to be a visible connection of costume between top and bottom” (Johnny Weir, NBC Commentator and former USA figure skater). No two pieces. Hence, all those fleshy coloured mesh panels.

One week which many DOI competitors loathe (and viewers love) is ‘props week’. From Hayley Tammadon flying through the air via aerial silks, Daniella Westbrook’s use of a swivel chair to Kevin Kilbane gaining a sense of comfort bringing his soccer ball to the ice, props have made and changed many a routine. This is one rule, for which the ISU seems to have a decent excuse. Regardless of what they may add to a performance, they also provide a trip hazard, a consequence, which in terms of DOI only adds to the adventure.

Each series of DOI culminates in the final two pairs exhibiting their interpretation of the iconic Bolero, the only stipulation being they must start on their knees and build to that dramatic moment where the two doomed lovers, fall to the ice. Such was the invention, artistry, perfection, spellbinding effect of those 4 (and a bit) minutes in Sarajevo 1984, so many ice dancers began opting to begin or end on the ground, the ISU became fatigued. If you’re lying down, you’re not skating! Bang – one point deduction!

For Jayne and Chris, famously the start and end of their routine evolved for completely practical reasons. Despite employing the best in the business, editing Ravel’s masterpiece to less than 4 minutes 18 seconds was just not possible. Yet, with the clock not beginning until blade hit the ice, the skating part of the routine was the perfect length. If you think, you can find another creative way to lengthen the clock, forget it! Again, the rules now stipulate that the time starts when the music plays. And don’t think a few seconds here or there won’t make a difference, a point being deducted for every five seconds you exceed or lack. The same penalty as falling over!

For those skaters who’ve nailed the judges challenge in the last couple of weeks, don’t get too carried away. Heaven help a female skater who thinks they can get away with performing more than 3 spins or 7 jumps. And if like Perri you’re particularly acrobatic, don’t going showing off your backflip skills, a two point deduction is not really worth impressing the audience for!

I adore Dancing On Ice and show-skating and while I’m fascinated by the world of competitive skating at times it baffles me with it’s seeming determination to stifle artistic flair and acrobatic performance preventing routines akin to the perfect, judged perfect (!) Bolero!

H and Matt: Why this evangelical Christian sees no cause for offence

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Since it was first announced that Steps singer Ian ‘H’ Watkins had been paired with professional ice dancer Matt Evers there’s been an array of reactions. Ranging from those hailing it as a triumph for the LGBTQ+ community to those dismissing it as nothing more than a publicity stunt with the potential to damage impressionable young viewers. Most of those against such a partnership have argued “Two men skating together? It’s just wrong!” Is it?

                In 1995 aged eleven I attended the newly opened Newcastle arena to watch Disney on Ice, accompanied by my Bible-believing, church-attending mother. I was skate mad and would have loved nothing more than a trip to Florida, but that was never to be. Here was my chance to see Mickey, Donald and co. up close. And that I did. All of Walt’s classic characters skating together. All of them. Duck skating with mouse, dog with mermaid, male, female. Was my pre-pubescent, hormone-riddle brain corrupted? Hardly! Twenty-five years later I can still recall gasping with excitement and awe in the drafty arena as Donald and Mickey spiralled away in front of me.

Others have argued that while they have nothing against two gents skating together in general, they are dancing as a couple. Romance and ice dance being irrevocably connected. Tell that to two-time Olympic bronze medallist and three-time world champions, Alex and Mai Shibutani (brother and sister). Head judge Christopher Dean was himself married to Olympic silver medallist and world champion Isabelle Duchesnay who spent her carrier skating alongside her brother Paul. Yes there may have been many memorably romantic routines across the years but it’s certainly not the only way to the top.

Like many girls, I was as a child often made to  dance with female classmates and I had to be ‘the boy’(lead) during dance lessons in PE (phys ed). Was this wrong? No. I’m 5”8 and have been since about the age of twelve, therefore as the taller one I was best placed to lead. For the same reason when H and Matt began training together it quickly became apparent that as the taller and the stronger one, it made sense for Matt to take the lead. Matt has spent his entire career being the lead and carrying out the lifts, would if then be fair to ask him to switch roles without expecting the other pros to do the same?

The fact H won’t be carrying out lifts while the other male celebrities will, has also been raised by those seeking to prove he’s been given an easy ride. Yet by and large none of the female celebrities will carry out such moves. Instead, they’ll have to master being lifted, moving whilst being held aloft and landing smoothly. All the things H is learning. Last year, matt was partnered with Gemma Collins who he couldn’t lift, so he didn’t lift her. In 2012 Lisa Riley appeared on Strictly Come Dancing, memorably catching Robin Windsor at the end of one routine. Why? Because her partner, a professional dancer wasn’t strong enough to catch her. The fact H can’t lift Matt says nothing of his skating. Is Jayne Torvill any less of a fantastic skater for not being able to carry Christopher Dean across the ice?

In week 3 viewers saw Matt and H rehearsing in a dance studio with wall-to-ceiling mirrors. Why? Because the judges had picked up on the increase in side-by-side skating in their routines and wanted more synchronicity. Being lifted across the ice hides a multitude of sins (you may remember Chris complaining that Lucrezia spent a third of her routine in the air). Skating beside your professional partner, attempting to replicate their moves precisely, and in synch highlights them. I challenge anyone reading this to go back and watch each couples dances to date and compare how little time H spends in the air or in hold.

For those still not convinced and claiming disapproval on Biblical grounds, here’s some theological numbers for you. In the ESV (English Standard Translation) of The Bible, the word ‘homosexual’ or ‘homosexuality’ appears just twice. Whilst there’s nineteen references to dancing. Not ones of these references overlaps and perhaps Psalm 150 verse 4a best sums up the book’s attitude “Praise him with tambourine and dance”. God loves a boogie!

A friend who is himself a member of the LGBTQ+ community commented “I wish they hadn’t put the two gays together though”. His point being that they could have put two men together regardless of their sexuality. Whilst yes, this may have silenced some of the detractors, H has stated he was explicit in his agreeing to appear being on the condition he was given a male partner. Okay, so why partner him with Matt then? I think Matt was always the right choice, regardless whether his partner was gay, Bi, trans, non-binary or other. With Dan Whiston now taking on the role of creative director, Matt is now the only professional to have taken part in every series of the show bringing with him an unrivalled depth of experience choreographing routines to fit his partner’s physical needs and personalities as well as skating abilities  and had a small part (Skate Tree) in cult skate film Blades of Glory itself dealing with a male-male skate partnership which has provided a host of gifs now in use in response to Matt and H’s partnership.

First and foremost Matt and H are two people skating together. They’re not asking anyone to judge whether they’d make a good couple, only the quality of their routines and skating. When their partnership was announced, I’ll admit I was a bit worried. Worried it would be distracting. If anything, I think it’s made each of them perform better. I love seeing celebrities skate on their own and at a decent pace. Matt and H have done this in spades. Is H the best skater on the show? Not yet, but with a quarter of Matt’s partners to date reaching the final, there’s no reason he shouldn’t. And as my friend said, I’d like to see two guys skating together because they’ve been matched on height and nothing else but sadly I think we may still be a way off that yet.

DOI Soapstar Maths

It seems that Dancing on Ice bookers love the soaps as much as the British public. To date fifteen Corrie stars have swapped the cobbles for the ice, ten Eastenders the square for the rink, an impressive nine Hollyoaks for headbangers, five Emmerdale residents wellies for skates, three have made the journey from down under and a further three from those long gone (Dallas and Brookside). Four actors (Jeremy Sheffield, Gemma Bissix, Ray Quinn and Hayley Tammadon) have even appeared in multiple soaps.

So how have the the forty-one soap-landers to have taken on the challenge to date faired? They’ve produced a whopping six of the last ten winners (including a double win for Ray Quinn). Even more impressively, of all the regular series, Mark Little (Neighbours) remains the only soap star to have been booted off first. No doubt in part due to the mammoth viewing figures such shows continue to attract despite fierce competition.

It is from the soaps that unarguably two of DOI’s best remembered contestants emerged, albeit with very different capabilities. Few who witnessed Todd Carty disappear down the Time Tunnel will forget, while Ray Quinn, to quote Holly Willoughby on his appearance on last year’s Christmas Special, “he just keeps on getting better”.

In the battle of the soaps it would seem as if Coronation Street would have the advantage with so many taking part, but it is Emmerdale that’s really bagged more than it’s expected share of the glory. Of the five of its actors that have taken part, not only have 3 of them gone on to the final, those that did all won (Suzanne Shaw, Hayley Tammadon, Matthew Wolfenden).

Whilst my ambition of appearing on the show may seem far-fetched, maybe if I’m a serious about doing the Bolero I ought to be jacking in the comedy and heading down The Woolpack!

Lisa’s journey; Unfair advantage or facing her demons?

This is the first post in a series discussing each of this year’s Dancing on Ice Contestants. First up, Lisa George.

                Much has been made in some quarters of Coronation Street actress and current DOI contestant Lisa George’s alleged advantage from having competed in a handful of skating competitions as a 9 year old.

 If you’ve read the homepage, you’ll know I received my first roller-skates way back on Christmas Day 1987. I was only two and a half years old, but pretty much my first memory is of popping the yellow, orange and blue Fisher Price skates on over my socks (I soon learnt you were meant to wear them over shoes) and toddling around the dining room table. For the next sixteen years I lived on wheels. I can even remember at thirteen giving a presentation in English class about my skating obsession and how I was devastated after a knee injury aged nine, when the doctor banned me from skating for a month.17 years after my last pair of skates, I can still visualise every pair I’ve ever owned.

My parents got rid of my last pair during a clear out whilst I was a fresher. In April last year, I saw an advert for an adults-only roller disco and immediately bought tickets for my best friend’s birthday. For days beforehand the thought of being back on skates filled me with joy. I had visions of myself spiralling away to my heart’s content. In reality, we left early after my friend was knocked over exiting the rink, badly bruising her coccyx and though I was in no danger of falling over I couldn’t even remember how to skate backwards let alone attempt any fancy tricks. A forward figure of 8 was as close as it got. I loved every minute but it was a definite reminder that skating is certainly not like riding a bike or learning an instrument. While over the course of my childhood I must have spent at least 14,000 hours skating the subsequent 149,000 hours not skating had certainly taken their toll, erasing any ‘advantage’.

So to Lisa, who summed up her ice-skating history as “I did it for a couple of years until I was 9”. Assuming therefore she began at around 7 years of age, almost three times as old I was in 1987 and stopped at lot sooner than my sixteen years.

However, whilst I chose to stop skating, not bothering to take my skates to hilly Durham, Lisa’s ‘career’ was cut short due to a nasty and doubtless at the time rather traumatic injury. “I was in a competition and I stuck my blades in the ice, the ice shot up like a shard and cut my chin open”. I have clear memories of having a nose bleed in the swimming pool as a youngster after running up an inflatable as my friend Jonny slid down. The resulting mix of blood and water were like a scene from Jaws. I doubt the sight of blood dripping on to the ice was any less disturbing. Not only that, but if you watched this Lisa’s segment on this season’s Christmas special, some slightly cruel DOI executive decided that after almost forty years (350,400 hours) since last setting foot on the ice, Lisa should do so on the very same rink! Childhood memories are potent stuff. Just think how many former colleagues you struggle to name and then compare that to how many former classmates you remember vividly.

Whilst Lisa did come joint second in week one (4 points behind Perri Kiely whose apparent advantage as a dancer I’ll explore in a later post), she did so alongside Libby Clegg who aside from being neither a skater nor a dancer has close to zero useful sight. What’s her advantage?

While the story of the former child skater returning to the ice in a blaze of glory is a romantic one, and I am relishing the chance to see Lisa unleash her potential and rediscovering her love for the sport, let’s not pretend they’ve snuck Nancy Kerrigan in there!

Sorry Caprice you need tough love

26 years ago the BBC as part of the documentary series Horizon broadcast ‘Facing the Music: The Return of Torvill and Dean’. The film followed Jayne and Chris’ return to competitive skating as they prepared to take part in the 1994 Lillehammer winter Olympics hoping to scoop a second gold medal.

Despite hours of footage of a partnership which at that point had already lasted almost twenty years (and has now lasted in excess of 45 years), one scene made all the headlines.

Aside from being the best male ice dancer not only of his generation, but possibly of all time, it was largely Chris who took on the role of choreographing their routines and therefore had the responsibility for imparting his vision to Jayne. It goes without saying that returning to the Olympics was a massive gamble due to their previous success and the expectations that set on them, as well them by then being in their mid-thirties.

For ONE minute in ONE training session, Chris voiced his frustration that Jayne wasn’t translating his vision in the way her foresaw it & a jet-lagged and exhausted Jayne became tearful. Despite being the best female ice dancer of her generation if not all time, being tired and stressed even gold-medal winning Jayne Torvill herself in that moment felt a bit overwhelmed.

HOWEVER, they carried on, they went to the Olympics, they won a medal (anyone who watched the routine and every comment I’ve ever read on their free dance admits it should have been gold, but that’s for another post). Chris’ (& Jayne’s) hard work, ‘nit picking’, precision, ‘perfectionism’, ‘pedantry’ call it what you will, paid off!

Could Jayne have sacked Chris off and found a partner that wasn’t a ‘perfectionist’? Yes but they wouldn’t have achieved those perfect 6.0s.

So why am I telling you this? If reports surrounding the current series of Dancing on Ice are to believed, it seems that sadly some of the public are still not getting this. Hamish and Caprice’s week one performance was one of my favorites of the season so far. Why? It was skated at the correct speed, the finishes were clean and precise, the emotion was controlled and each move measured. You don’t get this without ‘nit picking’, precision, ‘perfectionism’, ‘pedantry’ call it what you will.

Caprice is clearly a capable ice dancer but her new partner appears to have 2 choices. Firstly, go easy, don’t push too hard lest she get teary’. This seems to be the option she desires. However rest assured week one’s success will only be repeated with ‘nit picking’, precision, ‘perfectionism’, ‘pedantry’ call it what you will and accepting this might lead to tears.